I am apparently in rockville maryland. I just threw up my tater tots I had fro brunch in a safeway parking lot. Then ordered a pizza. Pepperoni and pineapple. I'm sitting in the parking lot, next to my barf, waiting for my pizza. WOOF. Someone just gave me an oxycontin tab. Can u come get me? I'm scared
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
These eggs taste like chocolate chip cookies. This is the best hangover ever.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
looking at that huge scar on my leg from when i got drunk at 9 AM and walked into a grill. so excited for football season to start again!
To be so small, the mini-horses are exceptionally aggressive. And fast. Very, very fast.
Abort! Abort! He almost bit off a finger!
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I may have been mad at the Supreme Court/patriarchy and tried to hate fuck myself.
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
please tell me you're the one making all the weird noise in the yard..
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
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