I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
If I pass out leave the food near me so i can wake up to it
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
just apologized to a random stranger while waiting in line for coffee. last night was that drunk
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
if i die of alcohol poisoning tonight, just know i kinda expected it and totally deserved it
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
