it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
Just saw a guy at the gas station legitimately dressed in exactly what my costume was last night. Fuck his life.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
i wore a power symbol belly button ring just so i can drunkenly tell him that he turns me on. i dont care if it works i think its classy
I just smoked by myself in my childhood bedroom, how happy does it seem I am to be home for Christmas?
YO CONGRATULATIONS ON YOUR MÉNAGE À TROIS. YOU GO, GLENN COCO
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
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