garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
No, asshole. I'm not gay. But if I was I think I would do better than fucking Nick Lachey.
Hey welcome to Rick's drunk text tree. Rick is drunk right now please respond with "shut up" to remove your name from this list. Thanks for playing.
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
i thought you were just a really comfy body pillow until i sobered up. oops.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
When are your genitals available?
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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