Something growled at me in your dark backyard last nt. Hoping it was my landwalking laser sharks and not Andy.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
He told me his penis would be a "Sad Panda" if I didn't give it a ride through the jungle.
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
You need to be more adventurous.
I am! Just not in a "I wanna get diseases" way
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
Yo, I totally had forgotten you were CA. Thank you for making my life easier with modern medicine.
I've got 3 hot dudes surrounding me. It's the Bermudick Triangle.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
The kid with the ed hardy shirt put a bunch of random shit in the washer and turned it on. example: a hanger, the movie Chocolate with Johnny Depp, and your mom's cat
Randomize