it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
why would she put his p in her m after it was in her a? that's gross
its gross she let him put his p in her a nevermind his p in her m after p in her v. cleaning up is necessary
i put my m on your v after my p was in your v. no big deal
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
All I did this weekend was get my life in order. I feel like I wasted my time.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There's a man in a pumpkin/reaper outfit advertising a new head shop outside the Taco Bell. I love this town.
Two ladies just showed up with my fucking purse. It was in the fucking street. I'm a train wreck. As a financial advisor, this shouldn't happen. I should be an adult.
I have bruises all over my body. Seriously, I'm a train wreck. I'm too damn old for hangovers like this.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
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