I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
I wore a firefighters hat and drank beer all night. They had to drive me home after breaking the beer pong table, they told me I was welcome back tonight though...
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Bro, that'd be the third dick I've taken down in the office.
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
Randomize
