We even fucked WHILE he was making me breakfast in bed.
you traded sex for a burrito?
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
Ifound a recepit for a hotel room in my sock. soo.. Ithink thats where my dog is.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
Please delete that video of me blowing you. I will repay you with 100 blowjobs even better than the one I gave you during that video. Please. I am gonna be a grandma one day.
Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face. Dick in my face.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Randomize
