I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
For future reference, when you see people who look like Rosie O'donell, do not tell them they look like Rosie O'donell.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Being in the club with your moms drunk friends > having a healthy relationship with your mom
I just gave them my two week notice. Now is the perfect time to fuck my boss's son
Randomize
