I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
you have to be so drunk to ignore a taser
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
we found you under the sink... we opened up the doors and you told us to go away because you were playing indian in the cupboard
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Observations from Vegas: #1. Strippers pasties pose a choking hazard. #2. Best. Heimlich. Ever.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
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