Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
Hey sorry for feelin' up your date. Sadly, this is a mass txt.
i just know my balls have never hurt this bad before
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
Well you finally jumped into that tree you've always wanted into and some girl gave you an 8.5. You were very happy.
You told your mom that it was your second day sober. I think she believed it until you jumped off the balcony
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
He just unloaded a dump truck full of red flags on my head.
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Me and dad were just reflecting on that time he found a gas mask bong in the backyard.
Randomize
