I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
my 12 year old sister just told me how admirable it was that i felt comfortable going out with my friends dressed "like that"
i dont care if i had to wear a dress to fuck her, she was super hot and i stand by my decision
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
You've had your dick in my mouth. I don't think there are all that many barriers in our friendship at this point.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
I was like kind of drunk but mostly just very enthusiastic about beyonce
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I just woke up on my neighbors floor with my boots on, but no pants. I have 3 separate taco bell receipts in my pocket.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Some guy just walked past the bus stop in a lab coat and with a samurai sword and case...
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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