Some guy shouted fuck america during the national anthem, i decked him. They threw him out. USA USA USA!
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
I don't want the last thing I hear while alive to be Jesse's Girl
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
STD scares really help you understand the whole six degrees of separation thing...
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I noticed it at one point and thought do I really wanna bang the guy with the phone holster .....of course I do
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
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