So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
It's gonna be pretty hard to find a homeless person that takes crackers as currency.
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I think I'm still fucked. I can see the electricty going through the street car lines
IT IS CHRISTMAS EVE AND I AM SUPPOSED TO BE HAVING SEX WITH AN ATTRACTIVE BLACK MAN IN THE NEXT FEW DAYS AND I JUST GOT MY PERIOD. WHEN PEOPLE ASK ME WHY I DON'T BELIEVE IN GOD I WILL TELL THEM OF THIS DAY.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i just want things to go smoothly
oh they won't lmao
We were so amazed while watching mission impossible ghost protocol last night we didn't even have sex
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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