pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
He was so drunk that he tried to backflip off a baby chair.. How do you think that ended?
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
FOUND MY PANTIES COMINY JOME
The morning after your company Xmas party and that moment you're eating a block of cheese in bed wearing a sequin blazer and recalling all the details of your one night stand with a coworker who happened to start that day...fuck.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
He chose me to be his birthday sex..theres a lot of pressure riding on this bang
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
Maybe those shots of hot dog water wasn’t a good idea after killing a fifth of tequila.. but who’s askin
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
Wait, you met him on Onlyfans? The guy from last night? Which one of you is the fan?
Because one of you banged your stalker
Randomize
