I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Last night at the bar my fuck buddies found out about each other.
Wtf? What happened?
Not quite sure but they rock, paper, scissored to see who was taking me home.
The meeting is at the same hotel we go to for sex. Avoiding eye contact with all the staff there.
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
Woke to a half burnt 20 in my pocket, covered in mud, clothes all wet, so im assuming I didn't use that 20 you gave me for a taxi
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
I'm abstinent now
Oh, is this one of the times when you're serious?
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Randomize