Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
Lesson Learned this Week... If it seems too good to be true he is probably just trying to get you pregnant.
Dude, didnt you only know that guy for a month and he is demanding offspring?
Apparently, at this age my womb is an early conversation
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
you stole two subs and a drink from jimmy johns and walked out yelling "get at me bitches"
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
I made everything so magnificently awkward in under 15 seconds. I am magic.
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
That was years ago. And it was chlamydia.
Idk she seemed really innocent until she snorted that line of vicodin
Randomize