Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
We found a swing set....it's in the front yard.
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
His wife found the thong I “forgot” in his glovebox
Randomize
