I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i walked toward the cop car thinking it was the liquor store lights nd by that time it was too late to escape the trap
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
I moved my bed to the living room so when a girl walks in she has to decide right away if shes in or out
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
