I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
i feel like the 7 eleven by your house knows our deepest, darkest secrets
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
I wonder if you're allowed to smoke pot at Denver bronco games now...
Is it possible to be sexually attracted to someone's hair?
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
Because cocaine and lesbian hookups on a Tuesday cannot be the new normal
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
thank you for being so understanding of my weak stomach and poor self-control
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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