I'm trashed wearing your mom's snuggie. She says hello.
i would give spencer pratt a bj just so i could bite his dick off
he'd just find a way to get more famous from being a eunich.
quick I need to know all the foods that the very hungry caterpillar ate
ya and he came three minutes into it because he didnt have sex all summer
oh that makes more sense i knew you arent that good
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
No, this is non-alcoholic oatmeal.
I baptized my dog in my pool last night because he snapped at my party guests, how was your night?
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
I couldn't find a water bottle, so I sent her to school with her juice in a flask. Who the hell let me become a parent?
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
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