Just saw a car with license plate GYPSYS that was full of gypsies
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
history professor just told us he has magic fingers. i'm going for it.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I'm like a walking PSA for tequila shots
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
I love waking up to reeses ice cream. But I DONT love waking up to it all over my cat. I blame you.
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
