maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
She just did a myspace photoshoot with her baby
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
We got drunk, we had raw sex and we discussed about the showrunner change in Doctor Who, in that order.
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
We're starting to light shit on fire, bring a metal bucket. Be prepared, Jimmy's off his meds.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Painted a stripper an elf costume. Her coworkers liked it. Now in a room full of naked strippers.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
Randomize