Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
Just seen on a tshirt : "fake titties taste funny"
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I mean this holiday was built on cheap beer, shitty whisky, and processed meat... and I fully plan to honor that
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
THE CONDOM ONLY COVERS HALF OF HIS DICK I AM IN THE BATHROOM PANICKING
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
Don't wake me up to tell me to cook for you because you don't like taco meat.
My buddy just got straight up kicked out of the bar on my bday for water boarding people with beer and bar towels
You're the only person not starstruck by him
Yes. That tends to happen after you regularly lick someone's balls.
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
Randomize
