chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
the cashier ate half of our fries before she gave them to us so i think it's safe to say they don't do drug testing there
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
A good drinking club with a running problem, improves endurance in both I have observed this evening.
2 for 1 beer results in multiples of 2 so what should be a beer or two becomes 4 or 6. But running, alleviates the need for a DD.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
It will be the shitshow of all shitshows.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
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