Lesson learned: don't hide your vodka in your little brothers toy box.
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
I'm sorry you missed class, the topic today is copy and paste. I'm not even kidding.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
I'm sweating so much right now i look like Whitney Houston
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We aren't really supposed to respect our bodies til our mid twenties.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
The original plan involved fireworks and a lot more dildos but the new one is still okay.
Why did I wake up in bed with the ironing board and a Mariah Carey mask? Vodka hates me
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
You chased a rabbit then knocked on a police car and asked the cop "if he saw where that little bastard went."
Randomize
