i'm pretty sure god just pointed at me and laughed
I don't know where your sunglasses are, I was too preoccupied with girls not old enough to drive past midnight.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
I need you to ship me a penis cookie care package.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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