somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
i'm sleeping with myself tonight because i remember my name and i won't regret it in the morning. sorry.
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
A giant panda just asked me for a cigarette and said "man pandas gotta smoke too." There is something wrong with this place.
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
But in defense of this shit summer we've had, I totally perfected my shotgunning skills. I have achieved my summer goal.
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
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