she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
How is it I was the last to know everyone calls me tig ole bitties? Did y'all have a meeting about this that I wasn't invited to?
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Dad and I are shitfaced screaming at Canadians in Walmart. Life is good.
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
I thought the first time I got peed on it would be by a baby...
Just packed vodka and spare underwear into my purse- totally set for watching the hockey with him tonight
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
R.I.P my virginity. TOD 12:37pm
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