My jaw hurts. Such a slutty injury..
then the nurse gave me a bag with my personal belongings: phone, wallet. jacket, keys and a BTB burrito
i called my mom using *69 and said this was the principal and Matt has a snow a day today. she believed me.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
It's 4th of July all over again, we were chasing with the pool water.
Blew a line and having a jolly rancher... the day is looking up.
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Yeah I ended up covered in the mud by the end, in a lady bug golf cart that was blasting jazz music with a dead phone
He just yells "mush!" as they're having sex.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Omg, new summer goal: sex in a bouncy castle.
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