O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
Can you fuck me on the kitchen counter at some point? I'll lysol it after
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
All I want is dick and wine.
Omg I got up from his bed and almost did a header into the wall because I came so many times I forgot how to walk.
Steven and I talked about running for office again today. It's fucked that my 3 dream jobs are marijuana bakery owner, bar owner, and president.
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