she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
I just got my poem back from the prof, there's a sticker of a girraffe on it and it says "you're awesome!" ... How can this even be considered real college?!?
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
They can't keep moving my court date back, i dont know if I'll survive another one of these going away to jail parties.
It hits you later. Like when you wake up on the floor under a puzzle later.
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
AND I JUST BURNT MY BACON. WTF MONDAY. SCREW YOU TOO
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
