do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
didn't have any spoons so I beer bonged my chicken noodle soup. I fucking love camping.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
What if everything solid was made of oreos and everything liquid was wine
I just got chills
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I would accept a super bowl ring as an engagement ring
Give me like 5, I have to feed a moose and find my pants.
Randomize
