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• (718): View more from New York

  no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.

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• (781): View more from Massachusetts

  just spent the last 4 hours searching ex-girlfriend porn to make sure there are no photos of me

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• (574): View more from Indiana

  Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive

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• (330): View more from Ohio

  i cant answer while inside this church craft show. so unless you're outside with my engagement ring and a nonfat gingerbread latte, it'll have to wait.

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• (530): View more from California

  So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?

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• (651): View more from Minnesota

  Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see

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• (843): View more from South Carolina

  I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.

  (561): View more from Florida

  Your mother would be so proud

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• (810): View more from Michigan

  I really couldn't care less what she looks like. That's why The Lord Our God gave us doggy-style.

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• (732): View more from New Jersey

  PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...

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• (419): View more from Ohio

  I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.

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• (705): View more from Ontario

  Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have

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• (603): View more from New Hampshire

  Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent

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• (315): View more from New York

  HE WAS CUMMING IN THAT DICK PIC

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• (406): View more from Montana

  I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez

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• (613): View more from Ontario

  According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...

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