yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
my grandpa was trying to put butter into the pepsi and i'm like "grandpa what are you doing" and he looks down and goes "well i guess that wouldn't taste good anyway"
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
If only we could all 3 say fuck school to be stoner flight attendants
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
I met a bunch of Germans and said in german "this is for the fatherland" and poured a beer on my head
HI MARY. THERE IS A RAINBOW AT OUR APARTMENT
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Saw the same Luigi I hooked up with last Halloween. Still in his same Luigi costume and scruff that hurt my face
Giving the guy pizza was a good idea. Leaving him naked on the pool table makes you my hero
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Randomize
