i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
How the fuck did you go into work today? You are a better man than I. I couldn't even show up to being unemployed on time.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
You don't know the meaning of what the fuck until you wake up naked and alone in someone's bed staring at a dead squirrel on their dresser.
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
All of the sudden your world had become nothing but the sum of visible dicks. Welcome to life.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Everyone here knows me as 'that chick who will most likely steal your girlfriend'. My 99% success rate tells me this name is acceptable.
Do you think it's wrong for me to hop on that dick before he realizes that he's gay?
He was playing minecraft so I took a shower with my vibrator
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
Is that your Nuva ring on the floor? Shit must have gotten crazy
His dick smelled like strawberries...it was awesome.
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