Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
and she's shaped like a lego person so that's not happening
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Babies are disgusting. I held one once. Then I washed my hands and rinsed my mouth out with wine.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
No judgement. Sometimes you gotta twerk on a legends face.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
Randomize
