Friends don't let friends fuck ugly girls. WALK AWAY FROM HER!
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
Remind me to tell you the "if you give a mouse a special brownie" story when you get back
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
okay have fun. but Under NO circumstances ever attempt to outdrink the german exchange student. no matter how badly you want to blow him. just don't.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
So my mom wants to hear about my weekend. How do I make licking cupcake frosting off your face while high not sound like just that?
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
It's a shame, really, because he's got the cock of a horse... And the personality of dry toast.
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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