whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
If my body was a temple, I pissed all over the front stairs last night..
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
An don't say it's "personal preference" cause I don't buy it. I just want to have normal cool guy balls. I don't want to be the dude that's still rocking the equivalent of the "mid 90's bowl cut" of scrotum haircuts.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
Being drunk isn't an excuse for eating all of the bacon asshole
I don't know what to do about my nipple.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Randomize
