In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
As i was blowing him Silent Night came on his iTunes. I said "it isn't christmas" and he moans "yeah it is."
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
