Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
put your party hat on. and by party hat I mean no panties
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
One fish gets drugged and suddenly I'm labeled a bad pet owner. This is so unfair.
He sent me a picture of his ass and said the backdoor is open. Almost grabbed my keys and a condom before I saw it was a group text. Not nearly drunk enough for his desperation.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
I'm drawing the line at your vagina. I will not accompany you to get that pierced and/or tattooed. There's got to be some mystery to our relationship.
I have enough bourbon in me to put Justin's cat in the dishwasher.
This stupid maranara sauce stain sucks. It keeps distracting me and it looks like I'm staring at my tits.
Dude come to her party. Someone just took a body shot of rubbing alcohol
I JUST REALIZED THAT SINCE LEIA IS TECHNICALLY A PRINCESS AND KYLO REN IS HER SON AND STAR WARS IS OWNED BY DISNEY...KYLO REN IS LITERALLY A DISNEY PRINCE.
Oh my Gods. Why. Why did you have to tell me that. D:
SO YOU CAN SUFFER HAVING THAT KNOWLEDGE TOO.
He's at Disney with 4 kids and I'm drinking wine from the bottle in bed at 2:45pm. Does it sound like we're compatible??
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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