Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've actually, minus lsat night have actually changed my drinking habits
I sent him a picture of my boobs instead of saying good morning. I'm trying to tell him how I feel in a language he'll understand.
Sarah's knitting me a hat as an apology for unknowingly making out with my boyfriend
I love it when he cheats on me with nice people
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
Do you think you can chase a shot with chicken soup?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
Randomize
