somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
You know its going to be a good homecoming when you beer bong a mimosa at 6am.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
The drugstore has summer clearance. I bought you a little mermaid bucket. Now your hangovers will feel more like childhood adventures.
If I die, I leave all my liquor in my apartment to you. Be a drunk bitch at my funeral. I wouldn't want it any other way.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
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