You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
i think the bruises are from the grocery store. on separate occasions. i've been spending a lot of time drunk at the market lately.
i have a vague recollection of being in the parking deck around 4 this morning, and on monday morning i was naked on the roof.
that would mean it's on tape
So apparently when he was telling people he was in Alaska for 6 months he was actually in jail
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Worst bachelorette party. She got smashed and cried because she thinks she might have herpes from when she cheated on him. Not looking good for them.
he forgot there was a midterm today. i watched him break his own finger to get out of it.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
I wonder when walk of shame thursdays in the rain will finally make me stop drinking.
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
I feel like I haven't slapped your ass in years. This will be awesome.
Randomize
