I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
If it's any consolation she turned out to be has a collection of clown dolls she talks to crazy. And the cops knew why I was calling when she key locked the door from inside.
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