i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
All I remember from my 21st is crying because the bouncer made him put his shirt back on
She says she'll teach me how to make her squirt tonight so yea, I'm bailing again. I'm not sayin sorry since you don't have a better offer.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
WHY DO SO MANY HOBOS THINK I'M CUTE.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
He fingerfucked me in the hot tub and then we had sex in the wine cellar. See thats why I like partying with rich people
I come home to my brother mixing skittles and vodka. We're all proud of him.
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