You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We should be flying into LAX instead so when we land I can turn to the right and see the Hollywood sign
You can't even see the fuckin Hollywood sign from LAX. guess she never got the memo
Just made hot dog dorito pasta. It happened.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I just smoked part of an Oreo cuz I thought it was some hash you left
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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