did not feel like going to store to get condoms last night so went to her pantry and got a sandwich bag and a rubberband
did it work?
nope
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Nyquil jello-shots aiding in health and happiness
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
Randomize