Porn is love you can see.
you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
Keeping my bail papers as a souvenir from when I was arrested. Too weird?
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I still think the kiddie pool full of jello option is worth exploring. Just sayin'.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
We were escorted through the guys dorm by 5 kids with nerf guns and zelda shields. I felt like the president with a fucked up secret service squad.
what the hell makes you think you get to decide what your going to wear at our weding!?
Tent sex on an air mattress requires balance and flexibility. Not for the faint of heart
I'm going to need a penis the size of a bat
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize
