Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I think my mom's writing a book called how to fuck with your kids when you know they're high
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
She's hidden vodka up her skirt and is riding a parking meter. Things can only get better
All I can think about is getting a lawsuit and chocolate
I found your knife. It was stuck in my bedroom ceiling.
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I thought about mashed potatoes the whole way home
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
tell me about the eggs
Randomize
