Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
I woke up this morning next to some guy. I was horrified, he woke up and said, "the white tiger strikes again!"
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
I'm not being over dramatic, but I think my heart is going to stop beating.
I got concerned once i realized you weren't there to hear us having sex. See I do worry about you.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I DESERVE A BEADED TATTOOED MAN I'VE WANTED ONE FOR SO LONG
BEARDED TATTOOED MEN ARE PEOPLE AND NOT THINGS TO BE GIVEN FREELY
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Thank you, BTW, for defiling my bed. Glad it was done well.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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