His pickup line was "I'll eat you out"
He did it well too
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
new years resolution: more sex, less car punching, more chipotle.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Absolutely. Last time I signed up for a softball league I had sex with my high school economics teacher.
I woke up with cheeseburger in my mouth and a deep sense of accomplishment.
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
He recreated the night that started all my mothers days. We shared a joint, drank Boones Farm, and dry humped to the Beastie Boys. Then I cried over MCA's death. Best. Gift. Ever.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Not entirely sure how I got drunk off 2 mimosas but here I am
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Randomize
