she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
and this is why i am such an inspirational person, i am the Joel Osteen of alcoholics.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I know its hard to believe that I'm already drunk at 12 p.m. but I am, so dont call me asking to go to the gym.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Germany has fetish clubs for everything. We are going to Germany. Germany is our friend.
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
And I threw up 26 times yesterday. I actually think I threw up a spider too.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
Randomize
