The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
Church boner. Awkwardddd
we need 14,000 post its to execute this plan
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Now I'm at the gym and I never want to leave. It's a combo of adderall and endorphins and I don't want it to go away
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Lost my anal v card with Peter Thiel's RNC speech on in the background. Unbelievably appropriate
Anyone who can sit 4 hours in a doobie circle with their feet in a kiddie pool is ok by me
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