hotel room ftw
i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
the cops drove by and you were on your back in the middle of the side walk with your arms and legs in the air yelling that you were a dead bug .
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
