I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
I think my goal for this black wed is to not scream at an off duty state cop in a bar after trying to flirt with him. No need to make that an annual tradition
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
This taco party has no tacos, just a hot asian guy in booty shorts. We were lied to.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
correction: my vagina hates that I'm smart.
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
It's cool dude. The dank is in the form of premade smores with honey grahm crackers, marshmallow cream and 420 brand choc. bars. NV weed laws have nothing on me.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
I am putting clothes on to go find a brownie
In my experiences, brownies are better naked.
Randomize
