NEED BACKUP we are in the kitchen arguing about who would win in fight against lil Wayne and snoop dog
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
at first i was worried but she assured me her frail vegan body would have no chance at conception.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
Make sure your heart doesn't explode. These are words of wisdom.
I'm trying not to drink. I may fall down if I move. This is bad. I had everclear before the bar. Oh no. Oh no. Breathe. Breathe. Breathe.
if I see a bottle of vodka right now I'll probably throw up gum I swallowed when I was a kid
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
While I'm here in reality dreaming of catching chili cheese fries with my mouth out of t shirt guns like Jesus is real
he stopped mid makeout and said "can I pray for you?"
The first time he ever tried to hold my hand, I moon walked away.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
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