We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
when she started arguing that Girl Talk was in fact a DJ, i knew i could never sleep with her
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
I like waking up with a slight hangover cause I'm dehydrated and it makes me feel thinner.
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We were just sitting together and this guy walks up to us and says, "you ladies are drinking too slow", puts a 5 dollar bill on the table and just leaves the bar. Helloooo Taco Bell
In that state of mind I managed to bounce back from getting hit by a golf cart and convince an investigations officer that I was okay to go into the game.
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
I’m never getting home or fucked or eating hot Taco Bell fml
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