i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
When she can manipulate the direction of her leg hair, you know its time to leave
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
Would I be bad if I bought a pregnancy test at shoppers the same time I hand in a resume? Or do you think it would get me the job?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
i dont know whats worse..that i woke up in a gorilla suit or that its covered in peanut butter
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
I'm still thinking about that amazing orgasm last night. I literally heard angels singing "Hallelujah!!"
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