Tell her she can't have a vagina
I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
we were so desperate we resorted to lego blocks. nuff said.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
I just googled if crying burns calories
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Im in my back seat in my own drive way with two beers left to shotgun and watching the sunrise. Am I over her yet?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
she's pretty fucking smug for someone who has had unprotected sex with a convicted felon
Did you hear about the guy wearing a spiderman mask running around naked with a bottle of patron?
Yeah.
I was spiderman.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
