I am not having having sex with guys at the moment.
I can pretend to be a girl if you want. I have a tongue.
I went to blockbuster, where I always go when I need to soul searching
Despondent, hopeless, I decide on vantage point, because I vaguely resemble matthew fox (let me believe this, please)
It was cheaper to buy then rent, so now I'm stuck w/ a wretched hangover and I own this shit movie
in the practice room. just found 3 bottles of smirnoff hidden inside the piano. SO glad i didn't get into berklee...
i deep throated a ruler to see what my limit was...
You kept asking who was the good cop and who was the bad cop, you said you only wanted to talk to the good one
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
Went to a wedding reception last night, came home with a Christmas tree and the rest of the keg
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
he was wearing a widestriped red gingham suit jacket with complete sincerity im not surprised she beat the shit out of him
my roommate had drunk sex above me in our bunk bed and then built me a fort to apologize the next day
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
If he wants a future he'd best figure out the calendar function on his phone. If he can invite you to his penis he can invite you to his google cal.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
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