I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
I have a critically important question to ask.
Why does watermelon-flavoured candy exist?
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
I'm in the Wal Mart stall where we found out you weren't pregnant. This is where I'm going to propose to you. I feel like that would be the most romantic
Im drunk with people I love less than you. fix it.
The sorority chicks were the Persian army, and we were their 300 Spartans. Can barely stand up now...such a good ratio
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I love 3rd shift and working at a hotel I just had a late night booty call while I was getting paid..could life get any better??
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
It's one am and you're asking me if you should buy a plane ticket for a booty call.
He was my first marine! I wanna remember his name!
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
Randomize
