Bought a water-proof vibrator. Rubber ducky is no longer the one that makes bathtime so much fun.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
the brownie started to kick in before i finished the essay... it became a race against my own increasing intoxication
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
I think you just have to raise your bang age from 40 to 50, hope dust doesn't fly out and make her say tony danza
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Don't send me nudes asking me to come fuck you on lunch break then send me a video of kids you're babysitting.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
There comes a point where there's just condoms and old mcdonalds in your garbage can and you can't tell if you've won or lost.
I just want to say that I've always loved you and you are my best friend ever
You gave that creepy guy my number, didn't you? You really need to learn how to just say no, not interested.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I brought coffee but not enough for the naked guy on your porch
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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