Im so hungover
Come over i have rolls
Ecstasy rolls or Challah rolls?
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Seius question. Does a penis floar when ina baht? Must find out.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
In my defense, last night's hookup turned out to be my actual girlfriend. That's gotta count for something, right?
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
She found my old SD card with stuff I "didn't keep" or "didn't record us doing".... She's pissed but really horny. Did I just win at sex?
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Randomize
