respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
Dude, there are some things that you can't un-see. Her, beached on a dog bed, is one of them.
We were having margaritas and I was saying "back when I was drinking..." They looked all confused. Then I realized "holy shit they think THIS is drinking?"
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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