i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
Sorry I pissed in your dining room and kicked your best friend in the face while he was passed out.
So our 'date' consisted of getting drunk off champagne at four and photo-bombing the shit out of tourist's pictures all over the city. Thoughts?
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I had to steal sneakers from my man of the night. I dipped. But then realized I left my purse in his house. So I had to stash the shoes in some bushes and wait for him on the stoop. Then after he watches me leave, I run back and get the shoes cuz I didn't wanna be taking my hour long journey home through London at 3 pm in my six inch wedges and club dress
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
HE CHOSE A RESTAURANT AND MADE A FUCKING RESERVATION. I AM SHOOK
Things change once you put a ring on it. 5 years ago if I had morning wood she would have gone nympho on that. Now I am just lucky if she touches it rolling when we sleep.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
