I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
what's an appropriate "I'm fucking your grandson but I'm trying to hide it" outfit?
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
Looking at an apartment in Houston. It's right beside my favorite bar and the zoo. Best or worst decision?
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
And i have once again masturbated to an amazing soundtrack. what a time to be alive
I told him to come over when I realized that I did have time for a quick booty call before church.
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
She fucked the dishwasher AND the manager.
Well, she isn't a classist. You've got to give her that.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
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