I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
Need sex. Gaining weight.
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
You insisted that you sleep on the bear rug instead of the couch. You said it was lonely and you kept on petting its head.
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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