But honestly u used to be a cool guy and lately uve been superame(734): Superlame
last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
I just tried to put my feet in my slippers and found cans of beer in them. Christmas in fucking july.
I gave ten strangers a full description of his penis and its abilities. I need to stop drinking.
Oh and you pulled your pants down outside in front of like five people, held my hand, then peed.
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
we tried to exchange flip flops in the parking lot and fell over then army crawled home
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
He found his first fuckbuddy I'm so proud I feel like making him a card or something
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
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